Tuesday, April 2, 2013

May 2013 Sweet Sleep

In the woods lay a bleeding angel in all her glory. Her arms posed gracefully above her head and her hair soaked in the mud, blood, and feces in which she lay. Dying, fading into the other realm, her form was christened by the rain as though the trees had begun to weep upon her for the brutality she had endured.

There was someone waiting in the trails. A dark presence lingered nearby waiting for her to regain consciousness.

Kayn awoke in frigid darkness. The pain that pulsated through her seemed to recycle in waves until it began to slowly dull and became a tolerable numbness. She struggled to open and focus her eyes. She could smell a familiar scent. It smelled overpoweringly sweet, but somehow like metal. Kayn could taste the sweet repulsive flavor of it in her mouth. It made her want to vomit.

She was lying in mud and she felt hot stickiness behind her. She suddenly remembered what that taste had been. It was her own blood that she could taste inside of her mouth. Kayn could barely breathe. Shuddering, she began to remember the brutality that she had endured. Her mind began feeding her slivers, flashes of inhuman violence. Her mind numb and confused from blood loss clicked through scattered memories from her childhood.

Help me, please, her mind pleaded into the forest through the tapping sounds of the rain hitting the branches above where she lay. They seemed to be shielding her and as her vision came into focus she imagined the lush green branches above as giant arms. They protected her, covering her from the elements allowing her one last peaceful moment. They are beautiful, she thought. Her mind wandered through mystical visions of the majestic cedar trees alive and somehow capable of offering her protection.

The suddenly peaceful smile on her face that had been contorted by pain signaled his essence back to her. Her vision came into focus and again this time the trees crackled and mocked her. You’re going to die, you silly bitch, they seemed to chant. They waved their branches, howling, as the wind whistled through the trails which had suddenly grown icy cold. Kayn’s mind snapped back to reality. She had lost a lot of blood…none of this was real.

A man stood by that same tree whose imaginary arms had shielded her from the rain, still waiting, veiled in mist. The change in temperature had caused the forest floor to come alive with a dancing mist that seemed to add a thickness to the tapping sound of the rain drops. Writhing in the mud, Kayn willed her body to move. Her fingers clawed at the ground around her until she was spent. She lay in stillness for a moment, feeling like a half dead animal waiting to be finished off by its hunter. She concentrated on each breath…in and out…a little air. She was alive. It felt like she was breathing through a straw and somebody had pinched the end.

The streams of light from the moon that had been dancing through the dark stormy clouds had now disappeared, leaving only a cold dark night with no final visions of beauty. Kayn longed for some light, but was left with only the flickering of blurry dark images. She couldn’t see anything in the absence of light and began to panic again, for she could feel her grasp on her life being absorbed into the mist. I’m so scared. I don’t want to die. Please help me, her soul sobbed. The only answer was the crackling quiet sound of the rain.

Kayn couldn’t see anything at all now with her vision clouded with tears, so she had to stop herself from crying. Her head pounded with the blinding pain that had abruptly returned. She could sense that he was still nearby watching her. His dark shadow loomed in the distance as it had in the hallway of her house.

Please, please, no more, Kayn begged in her mind as he came closer to her, standing a few feet away from her now, watching with his head tilted to one side. Her heart was begging, please don’t hurt me anymore.

Kayn was trying to wriggle but no movement came from her now. She willed herself to grasp at the moist cold earth with her fingers. She was unable to move at all. Now her body was nothing more than a broken shell. How cruel for her mind to still see...to still desire life at this point. Kayn looked into his eyes and pleaded through her mind again, why are you doing this to me?

She was so cold her body gave an involuntary shudder. Kayn realized then that she was naked, completely exposed to the elements. Why was she naked? Her eyes were full of tears again and she felt instant, almost overwhelming shame.

Kayn could still feel the sticky heat behind her as her blood drained from her body, soaking into the dirt. The pain in her head began to numb as the lights through the trees began to flicker again.

The dark mass of her violator suddenly appeared beside her, leaning in so close that she could smell his putrid breath, moist over her face. Every hair on her body was standing on end. The electrical power between Kayn and the man in the dark was like a charge. He ran a finger over her exposed breast saying, “You were never to be born. This situation had to be corrected.”

Kayn saw his knife glint in the light from the moon. It was raised above her chest. Yes, she thought, let it be over now. She shut her eyes as the knife sliced into her chest. Kayn opened her eyes again with acceptance. She felt no more pain. She stared deeply into his eyes as hers filled with tears.

 “From this life unto the next,” He whispered as he slowly began to cut some kind of symbol into the skin on Kayn’s chest above her heart. She lay limp in his arms, still conscious of what was happening, yet free from the pain and fear now. He pulled her close to cradle her naked body in his arms like a baby, rocking her broken, violated flesh in his arms, stroking her blood soaked hair. He began to sob as if he were repentant in some way for how he had tortured her.

As her vision flickered one last time, the man was gone. It was her mother looking into her eyes.

Her mother’s eyes were filled with so much love that it seemed to release her from her pain and fear as it had when she was a small child. Her mother cradled her as a baby, rocking her back and forth. She was safe now in her mother’s arms. She was at peace. Mommy, her heart sang, you’re here to save me.

The warmth of her mother’s love enveloped her tortured soul. She looked into her mother’s eyes. She touched Kayn’s face and started to sing a song that she had sung to her every night when she was very small.

Sleep, sweet sleep till the morning

Just dream away and close your eyes

My love you’ll be safe until the morning

Sleeping in my heart, all through the night

Although bad dreams come to scare you

My love will scare them all away

My heart

The lights flickered, the pain went away, and her mother was holding her, singing “Sleep, sweet sleep.”

 The Beginning

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